Repenting our way into an Unshakeable Bronze Wall

The book of Jeremiah is full of the Lord’s disgust with his disobedient, adulterous people.  However, throughout the text there are also various promises of God’s redemptive work.  I would like to reflect briefly upon one of these promises this morning.  It comes in verses 19-20 of chapter 15 and reads, “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman.  Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them.  I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you.”

Immediately, as God’s promise unfolds we are provided with a beautiful definition of repentance.  Repentance is a word that is intimately, and necessarily connected with salvation, and a word, along with salvation, that has in many places lost the heart of its Biblical meaning.  Ezekiel 18 holds the clear command from God of, “Repent and Live!”  Repentance is the turning from the world of death to the only way of life.  Repentance is not a matter of saying your sorry, it’s not even necessarily a matter of confession, it is rather an opening of the floodgates of the heart.  It is a complete humbling of one’s self before the greatness of the Lord.  Romans 2 says that God’s kindness is intended to lead us to repentance.  In Acts 3:19 Peter says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord . . .”  As is demonstrated by this command, repentance does not equal the wiping out of sins, nor does it equal immediate refreshment, but it does necessarily lead to them.  God is the slayer of sin and the refresher of souls.  He is always on duty, and once a heart is opened he will see fruit produced there.  Our modern society despises dualities and would like to claim the world as gray, however, the Biblical reality is that this world is darkness and death.  We, though born with a heart beat, are born without life or light.  In John 8, Jesus calls himself the Light of the World.  His light is always burning ready to do clean up on our hearts, but the doors to many hearts are closed tight to him.  It is in this way that repentance is like a man sitting in a dark room with all the blinds closed.  There are huge windows everywhere, but they have been covered to prevent light from getting in.  Repentance begins to come when the man starts to notice a glow through the coverings of the windows.  Call it God’s kindness, call it love, call it grace, but it is the Kingdom of Light beginning to infiltrate the world of darkness.  It is not full-blown light in this man’s life yet, but it is clear that there is something on the outside that is other than the world of darkness he has known. Repentance is the ripping off of the window-coverings.  It is not a peek, it is not the tearing down of half the cover, it is not even the placement of artificial light in front of all the windows.  True repentance that comes with meeting Jesus Christ is something like getting food-poisoning, and yes, I am comparing Jesus to a destructive bacteria.  In a world of darkness that is exactly what he is, he is a disease of light and life.  To those living in the darkness (John 8:48&52) Christ is a demon.  He comes as the destroyer of life, calling to what looks like death when contrasted with a world of black sin.  Like turning the light on a roomful of sleeping people, he can only produce a violent-reaction.  Like a bacteria in a bad batch of food, once allowed inside he purges one of everything.  Many will refuse to swallow his pill though.

However, those who do, must by necessity look much different than they did before.  In the same way, they must see much different than they did before.  Paul says in Acts, 26:20, “I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds.”  This would sound to many to be too much works, and not enough grace.  As the church continues to twist the wisdom of Martin Luther towards its own crippling, Biblical wisdom about our necessary effort in God’s work continues to be buried beneath heaps of feel-good philosophy.  Regardless of popular doctrine though, God wants us to prove our repentance that we might serve Him.  Let us remember our man in the dark room for a moment.  If he has truly let light into his life he need not prove it to himself, he surely knows it.  The stinging of his eyes, and brilliance of his surroundings will testify to that.  He need not prove anything to God either, the Lord surely knows whether or not he has truly let the light in or not.  So then, when would he need to prove it?  It would be in interaction with his neighbor’s that he would need to get to work proving, they have neither the insight into his life that the Lord has, nor the ability to see through his eyes as he has.  Thus, when he goes over to his neighbors and tells them what has happened they will surely be skeptical unless they get some evidence.  The man will share with them the new things he has seen in his room, things he has been in the dark to before.  Imagine that he begins to explain to them about a wall, about the fact that in light it does not look black.  He might give details about what’s on the wall, or what’s in front of it.  One of his neighbors might very well respond with interest, “Good good! Tell us more, you’ve only described one wall, and I’ve searched all around this place with my hands and I know there are four.  What do the other one’s look like?  Please tell us.”  Let us imagine at this point that our man is caught off guard.  He suddenly realizes that he has only seen one wall of his room.  He must not have truly opened the window all the way.  Thus, he might walk over blindly do one of the neighbor’s windows and jerk it open, revealing a new wall he has never seen before.  What fruit his attempt to prove his repentance has brought at this point!  Not only has he shared light with his neighbors, but light has been cast upon darkness in his life that he did not even know existed.  It is for this reason that repentance must be active.  It is not a one-time thing, but rather a continuous unfolding, and journeying to the source of light.  A baby might emerge from the womb into new light, but he does not come out an old man!

Just as Paul uses the language of proving one’s repentance, Jeremiah speaks of repenting that one might serve the Lord.  I believe these two things to be synonymous.  True repentance must provoke in us a desire to prove, to share, to serve, and it is from that desire that the Lord is able to begin to restore us.  A repentant heart is a moldable one, one open to God’s redemptive plan for human soul’s.  Paralleled to repentance in Jeremiah is speaking worthy words instead of worthless one’s.  Not only does a repentant heart know that it has been receiving darkness rather than light, but it also knows that it is darkness that it has been putting off as well.  It is at this point, once a person has started drinking from the source of goodness, and has been enstilled with a desire to increasingly share that goodness, that a disciple is born, and the direction and the promises given to the disciple here in Jeremiah are something to take note of.

Instead of the word disciple Jeremiah uses spokesman.  Just as he himself is a mouthpiece for God, so God has promised that anyone else who repents will be used in a similar way.  Many of us have heard this promise before, and have accepted that God will use us in some way or another.  However the next command God gives to his spokesmen is something that has been all together lost in the modern church.  Verse 19 reads, “Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them.”  Jesus Christ is, as surprising as it may be to many, the perfect representation of this truth of ministry.  Scripture says clearly that Jesus had compassion on his people and was open to interacting with “sinners.”  However, the reality is that Jesus never once bent himself down to anyone.  He never fudged on his positioning.  He never altered the call he was issuing.  He might take compassion on a sinner, but that compassion led him to unfalteringly call them out of their sin, and to the Father.  Our Lord had no care for popularity, he was not concerned about being liked, or being sure not to hurt feelings.  He simply stood like an unshakeable, and dazzlingly powerful wall.  He promised life, but only if the dead would repent and come to him, he could not and would not give what he had to give at half-price, nor would he give out any lesser product.  We see in John 6, the day after the feeding of the five-thousand, Jesus once again finds himself hounded by thousands of people.  Jesus has no joy in seeing them this day though, he sees their hearts, and knows that they have come for free food.  He had compassion in feeding them the day before, but that was only as a testimony to what his compassion truly wanted to give them, and so he proceeds to them what that is.  He tells them about the Bread of Heaven, the Bread that is Himself, and the Bread that sustains forever.  He tells them they must eat of Him, and person by person, some believing him to be some kind of cannibal, others just bummed they didn’t get any free bread, the crowd of thousands dwindles away until only a handful of disciples are left.  Jesus never once pleads with them to come back, he never offers them what they want so as to create a better opportunity to share with them what they really need.  Instead, he refuses to bend, and that day his church amounted to just a handful of people.  This pastor had preached his pews empty with truth.  In a world of darkness, light often stings the eyes, and as bearers of light we must not be afraid of stinging eyes.  The number of churches with coffee shops, bookstores and tactics to fit Bible study, worship and ministry into people’s busy schedules is appalling!  The image of his faithful servant that God holds up is that of, “a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze;” he makes it known that, “they [people] will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you.”  We must stop conforming Christ to fit people’s needs.  The truth of scripture, and the testimony of the Spirit is that Christ is their need, and he is their only need.  Any bending from that truth is like bringing flashlights to a world sitting in darkness, when you’ve got the sun in your back pocket.  The flashlights are surely more manageable, and they are not nearly as shocking as the sun, but they are not the real thing.  Love and compassion does not bend when it comes to truth.  Love and compassion does not come with flashlights, or even with sunglasses to help shield the light of the sun.  Love comes rather like a “star in the universe”, like a dazzling and painful bright spot in a landscape of black. (Philippians 2:15)  It is cowardice, not compassion that brings flashlights or sunglasses.  The one who bends will speaking God’s word does not have the best interests of others in mind, but rather themselves.  It is only our comfort we seek by accommodating to the world, and only our lack of faith in our loving and sustaining God that we betray.  By being willing to bend we first of all show that we do not believe the Lord when he says that he is with us and that he will make us an unshakeable wall, and secondly we betray a lack of faith in the Holy Spirit’s ability to capture hearts.  We bend for two reasons: to protect ourselves, or because we think it is the best way to reach someone.  Despite our intentions though, both realities amount to the same disobedience.  We must not be afraid of empty churches, we must be afraid of evangelizing people to hell with a message that offers flashlights rather than sunshine.

My prayer for myself as I write this, and I do write it mainly for myself, is that the Lord would harden me with His strength, and test me in his refining fire.  I want to be as hard as bronze, and I want to stand as a testimony worthy of our Lord Jesus Christ.  A massive bronze wall would not come with a cheap price-tag.  In fact, I do not believe one has ever been built for that very reason.  However, no price so high has ever been paid for anything, as was the price my Lord paid for me on Calvary.  He has paid a high enough price to get a bronze wall, and I sure am not going to offer myself to him as a wall of Styrofoam instead.  He has called me to the flock as a shepherd with a staff.  I have never heard of a shepherd who cared about the complaints of his sheep as he led them out of their grazing due to the fierce storm that was headed their way.  And yet, how often I fail to boldly lead so as to save face in front of the sheep who know not what is about to hit them.  Lord, test me with fire, my flesh cries for an easier way, but I know that bronze only comes with the flame.  Refine me and make me ever sound in the torrent of a raging world. 

It is this prayer that I issue for myself, but my prayer does not stop there.  My prayer is for all those who might read this, all the church, and all who are wavering and bending with the name of Jesus attached to their forehead.  May we all refuse to represent our Lord in a manner so counter to his desire.  With the modified words of an old hymn I sing, “Let the church be bold in your truth, and let it begin with me!”

God's Redemptive plan for Desire in Marriage

So just a very quick thing to share today that struck me the other day as I was working on my last post.  There are a number of things God has been teaching me over the past couple of days, but this is just a particularly amazing thing revealing how amazing our God is, and how great is his plan of redemption for his children.  I wrote in my last post how the problem that entered into the world with Adam and Eve was misplaced desire and that statement got me thinking about desire and as I started thinking about desire I remembered in Genesis 3:16 where God curses the woman by saying, “your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.”  What I realized in this moment of remembrance was that God, our wonderful, sovereign creator, has been working to redeem our misplaced desire from that very first moment of fallenness.  Let me explain briefly:

Ephesians 5:22-33 contains what I believe to be the most important lessons (even if incredibly unpopular) for every married couple.  These verses describe what God expects and has planned for marriage.  Wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.  Paul explains these duties in some detail and then wraps up his comments by saying, “this is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.”  This may be the most important verse in the entire section.  What Paul is saying is that while he is describing God’s plan for marriage he is also describing the relationship between Christ and the church.  In other words, God has designed marriage to be a living metaphor for Christ’s relationship with the church.  Every Christian marriage is intended to be an image-bearer to the world of how Christ wants to relate to his people.  In the same way as Hebrews describes the tabernacle and the law as a “copy and shadow” of those things in heaven, so marriage was created by God to be a “copy and shadow” of Christ’s relationship with his bride.  I had concluded all of this prior to my writing earlier this week, but what I had not realized was how this all related to the story of the fall in Genesis. 

Now the reason that the tabernacle, the law and marriage are all copies and shadows of God’s original plan for humanity is that since the fall God has been inserting patterns of the original plan into the world so as to awaken the human heart to its original desire.  Now I talked in my last blog about the desire of all human heart’s being intimacy with God, and how since Adam and Eve we have been killing ourselves with misplaced desire.  So let’s take a look at the punishment that God places on Eve.  It is important to remember that Eve’s guilt came in desiring something that was other than what God intended her to have.  She had misplaced her desire.  Her desire was fallen.  God knows that her desire is stained, and it cannot be easily restored now that she has eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Thus, he immediately gets to work redirecting and redeeming her fallen desire, and thus he punishes her by giving her a desire for her husband, the husband who will be her Lord.  Now remember the role marriage plays, as described by Paul, in reflecting a right relationship with God.  What this means is that from the very first moment of his dealing with a fallen humanity, God was already setting into motion his plan for marriage and for redemption.  By making her desire for her husband, the man who is to be as Christ to her, even as she acts like the church before Christ, God is already beginning to paint a picture that imitates the woman’s original desire for her maker.  Her desire for her husband was not God’s original plan, but it is now being used by God as a persistent reminder to the woman of the desire she once had for her true groom and true Lord.  I understand that this might not be clear what I am saying upon the first reading, but the reality is that we have a God who has never been taken by surprise or caught off guard.  From the very first moment of dealing with a corrupted humanity God was setting his redemptive plan into action with the very punishments he was giving.  Oh what love the father has lavished on us.  Praise God that he knows nothing of nearsightedness.  For me to think that all the way from the fall and his decree for Eve that she would desire her husband God has planned to use that desire of Brie’s to help redirect not only her, but me, and hopefully others through us, back to him as our true groom just forces me to stand speechless in awe before him. 

Desiring God in relation to riches

 Please do not stop reading this half way through!  I wrote part of it yesterday, which I think is very disjointed and awkward, but the Lord was really teaching me a lot as I wrote the second half this morning.  If you want to fast-forward through it to the second half, that would be better than reading the first half and stopping, though I still think in order to establish an answer to the original question I set out to answer, all of this writing is necessary, even if poorly organized.

In a conversation with a friend yesterday I was asked a question that has been gnawing at me for the past eighteen hours or so.  I was actually asked two questions that have been rather thought-provoking, two questions that may be more intertwined than I even would imagine, but I will attempt to answer one of them for myself, for my friend and for anyone else who has interested.  The other, “does Jesus really want us to follow and imitate Him?” will wait for another day. Today God has taught me abundantly about the second question which is, “Why do you [talking to me] make such a big deal of following Peter and Paul etc. in their choice of poverty and loss of all for the sake of the Gospel, when there are men like David and Solomon in the Old Testament who are filthy rich, powerful on Earth, and still men after God’s own hearts?”  This question is a good one, and my response given at the time of asking was not worthy of it.  Hopefully the following will express adequately the truth of scripture that God has placed upon my heart. 

Because both my friend and I tend to be rather logical thinkers I will write this response in as clear an essay format as possible with a clear and concise thesis.  This thesis is that God’s purpose for humanity is to Love the Lord with all their heart, with all their soul, and with all their might and with their lives to reveal His glory – a purpose that alone can bring joy and life to a human soul, but a purpose that is fundamentally incompatible with a striving for riches and Earthly security.  I will begin to support and argue this thesis by looking at the new testament, beginning with the life and teachings of Jesus, and then transitioning into the writings of the apostles.  This, I believe, is a rather easy case to make, and the evidence supporting the above thesis is plentiful.  However, with the second part of this essay, I will attempt to show that Jesus simply ushers in the fulfillment of God’s plan for the Kingdom of God through his teachings and life, and as reflected in the lives of his apostles and early followers, a fulfillment that is completely compatible with what God does in the lives of David and Solomon, not one that stands in contrast to it.  I have chosen to leave this paragraph here even though what you will read further on does not follow my promise to write a clear and concise thesis.  Let it stand as a lesson to me and anyone who reads this that planning before writing really is helpful.

From the very beginning of Jesus’ ministry with what might be called his inaugural address in Luke 4 Jesus reveals his interest in the lowly of society, saying, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the bind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”  Then he leaves the synagogue where he declared this and calls his disciples, and calls them simply, but powerfully.  James, John and Simon dropped their nets to catch men, Levi left his tax booth to follow him.  Jesus entered their lives and they were no longer fishermen and tax-collectors, they were disciples.  Their purpose in life had changed, everything changed, because they had heard Christ’s holistic call on their lives.  Simon even had his name changed within the first five seconds of meeting Jesus.  No one who comes to Jesus leaves looking the same, or even remotely similar except those whom he curses, those who are his enemies, those who eventually kill him.  The blind come, gain their sight and follow him (Matthew 20), the demon possessed are freed and sent to tell all (Mark 5), the sinful are convicted of and healed of their sin and go away sharing from their bounty of joy (John 4).  All of these lowly of society leave changed and transformed from the presence of Jesus, but not all people leave Jesus changed.  The Pharisees come to him entrenched in their earthly, churchy ways and leave the same or embittered, the rich man came to him and left sad because he was wealthy and unwilling to sell his possessions (Matthew 19:16-)  In this story of the rich young man Jesus tells his disciples, “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”  Then, when Peter asks Jesus about what will happen to the disciples, because they have left everything, Jesus responds, “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.  But many who are first will be last, and man you are last will be first.” Matthew 19:29-30.  Jesus also says, “If any wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Mark 9:35  Jesus says, “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.  Blessed are you who hunger now for you will be satisfied.  Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.  Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of man.  Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.  For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.  But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.  Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry.  Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.  Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.” Luke 6:20-26.  And he also says, “do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.  For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.  But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.”  Luke 12:29-30   The list could go on and on and on as Jesus tells the story about the fool who stored up for himself things on Earth and then died leaving it all behind, or as he talks about the cost of picking up one’s cross and following him.

So that last paragraph was a nice spewing of Jesus’ teaching, but there are some observations and clarifications that must be made in light of them.  First of all, it must be noted that these teachings of Jesus are not popular in the American church.  Why?  Because Americans are stinking rich and like to keep their money.  Why?  Because the church does not have the same interest in the poor and lowly that Jesus did.  Why?  Because Americans have become so comfortable with Jesus that he has been reduced to a pocket-sized friend to carry around and pull out when convenient.  Why?  Because we as a country are obsessed with and enslaved to this world.  The Bible talks about two kingdoms, the Earthly kingdom that is Satan’s and the Heavenly Kingdom which is God’s.  Sadly, even the church, even those who claim the title of disciples are often disciples second and bankers, engineers etc. first.  Our identity is in our job, our money, and our stuff, and that looks no different inside the church or outside of it.  However, it must also be noted that the problem is not simply being wealthy, it is where the desires of our hearts are set, where the hope of our lives is directed.  Love and joy in God is the eventual goal, a love that is so full that it looks at riches and with paul says, “Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him.”Philippians 3:7-8  The hope is that a person would see how great Jesus is and thus come to see everything else as junk to be left behind.  However, people like me and many in our culture need to start with simple obedience.  Jesus must be taken at his word when he denounces riches, and the decision must be made that if they are a distraction from Jesus, than they must go.  Through this obedience comes new vision.  Through obedience it becomes possible to say with Paul that all besides Christ is rubbish.   

I would also like to turn to James and some of the other epistle-writers quickly for a little more support in this war against our Earthly loves.  Actually, as I start writing here I think I will break with my initial structure and begin weaving in some of David and Solomon with the epistles.  James 1:9-11 reads, “The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.  But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.  For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed.  In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.”  This text is not so much a condemnation of the rich as it is a warning against busyness.  James is a master of imagery and in these verses he draws the picture of a flower.  This flower is so busy, and always moving around doing this or seeing that.  Unfortunately though, due to all of his moving and activity he was never able to establish a good system of roots and so when the sun comes out he withers and dies.  In these verses the poor are blessed because they have the ability and time to establish good roots, they know how to be still and know that He is God.  The rich on the other hand, as we know, are running from work to practice to more practice, grabbing dinner real quick before off to the next group, and then ending the day in front of the TV because they’ve earned it.  In the midst of all this running, and all these distractions God is absent, he is never sought, and all too easily forgotten.  It is this hectic life of pointless doing that is the problem here.  David knew this as well, in Psalms 10:4-6 he writes, “In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.  His ways are always prosperous; he is haughty and your laws are far from him; he sneers at all his enemies.  He says to himself, “Nothing will shake me; I’ll always be happy and never have trouble.”  This is the story of our society.  In all our thoughts there is no room for God.  In our pride we do not seek him.  If we get our insurance, our retirement, and build up our savings nothing can shake us.  This is where David separates Himself from the average American, he knows how to wait on God, and he seeks God in all he does.  In the very next Psalm, number 11, he says, “In the Lord I take refuge.  How then can you say to me: “Flee like a bird to your mountain.  For look, the wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart.  When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?””  David just cannot understand why people would tell him to run, why they would instruct him to find shelter and security someplace other than the Lord.  After all, he takes shelter in the Lord, the Lord is his Shepherd and he shall not want. (Psalm 23)  If we as Christians really believe we have that kind of shepherd than we have to start living like it.  1 Peter 1:13 says, “Therefore prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.”  Did you hear that last part?  Our hope is to be fully on Jesus and his grace.  How many of us have divided hopes.  We hope somewhat in Jesus, but that mainly is for when we die and need to get to heaven.  Our hope and allegiance is split though.  We have hope and security in our wealth, in our homes, in our jobs, in our families, the very things Jesus instructed his disciples to leave behind.  Jesus was no fool, he knew our hearts, he knew our weaknesses and the things that tempt us.  He knew we needed him and him alone, and that with distractions we would have a hard time believing that, and so he calls the poor, and he calls the rich out of their wealth.  He wants to reach people when they have nothing else to cling to.  Only then will they know that he truly is enough to satisfy.  Only then will they cry out with David, “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my might rock, my refuge.  Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.  Lowborn men are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath.”  The Lord is the only thing that satisfies.  It is for him we were created, and it was in trying to get more than him that we fell, and thus James writes, “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God?  Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes and enemy of God.” James 4:4  When we put our trust in things that are finite than we end up with grave problems.  Not only do riches tempt us, and try to become our God, but if they succeed in doing so, than they prevent us from caring out God’s purpose of loving service to the world.  James summarizes both of these woes as he writes, “Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you.  Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes.  Your gold and silver have corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire.  You have hoarded wealth in the last days. . . You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence.  You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.” James 5:1-3, 5  Riches and wealth take our allegiance and become so easily our places of security.  As Brie and I went into the wilderness last week with no home to return to, no knowledge of what was going to come we found ourselves even putting our hope and security in our car.  It was the only earthly possession we had left, and obviously quite useless, but our hearts have learned so well to trust things, rather than our sovereign, loving God.  This is a tragedy, and a truth that ways heavily on my heart, one that I have strove to defeat with obedience, and one that is slowly being reversed in my life as the Lord blesses me more and more with joy in him alone.  As I draw near to God with all my heart, and resist the devil and the forces of this world with equal force, I find the Lord drawing near to me in an intimacy I have never known James 4:7-8.  The psalms have come alive to me, and I understand the heart of David, a heart that was after God’s own heart.   I want at this point to keep dropping scripture from all over the new testament or call attention to Revelation, particularly the letters to Laodicea and Sardis in chapter 3.  However, there is not time or space for that now, though I would encourage you to seek at least these two letters for yourselves.

Now the original problem of the original question still remains somewhat unanswered.  If riches are such a problem, and we are supposed to be like Peter and Paul who left everything for the gospel, than why are David and Solomon still righteous and yet filthy rich?  The simple answer to this question would be that Jesus changes things and ushers in a new fulfillment of the law, so just imitate Paul as he imitates Jesus and don’t ask questions.  However, this would be unfair to the asker, and I think to David and Solomon.  That being said, before I look at David and Solomon I will say that Jesus makes it very clear that to follow him will be costly.  He does not promise his disciples prosperity, but rather that they will suffer and be hated.  Thus, if we are looking for a way to remain prosperous and still say we are devoted to God we should just stop right here, and go back and seek Jesus some more.  However, I think there is great fruit to be had by asking the question of what is it that David and Solomon had that kept them faithful even in the midst of their riches, what is it that kept them in God’s favor.  This question can help us see what a heart committed to God truly looks like, and can more fully allow us to attain the primary goal of loving God, rather than simply stopping at a law and work-based teaching of “get rid of your money.”  I would not have a problem with Christians making a bunch of money.  Making money is not bad unless it is our goal.  It is having lots of money that is the problem, wanting money, trusting money.  I can think of a couple of people who have seen lots of money come through their hands as Christians and have been faithful in watching come right out the other side in work for the kingdom.  However, I do believe that this takes a very strong and very faithful disciple committed whole-heartedly to the work of the kingdom, and it takes a freedom from the confines of this world that only the healing of the Holy Spirit can bring.

OK, with that said, lets look at the life and writings of David for a moment.  David begins his life as a simple shepherd boy.  He is the lowest of his brothers and in the eyes of the world surely the least important.  That is why it is a surprise when Samuel comes on an anointing mission from God, and it is David that receives the anointing  1 Samuel 16.  Then, when David comes to bring food to his brothers at the battlefield he is once again underestimated.  However, he boldly volunteers to fight the fearsome Goliath.  He does not do it to show off, or to be made much of, but because he is embarrassed that these representatives of God are representing Him so poorly.  “Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God,” he asks 1 Samuel 17:26.  He is concerned not for his own rep, but for Gods.  God is alive and he is going to act like it.  His trust is in the Lord.  When Saul tries to talk him out of it he replies, “The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” 1 Samuel 17:37  His security has been and will continue to be in the Lord.  Once again Saul tempts him with other security, dressing him in his finest armor.  It just doesn’t make sense that David would dare go against Goliath with just the Lord to protect Him.  However, when Goliath calls him out David responds, “you come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” 1 Samuel 17:45  There are several important lessons to learn about the heart of David from his encounter with Goliath.  He trusts completely in the power of the Lord not in any inventions of man, he is very concerned with the reputation of God, and by trusting in the Lord and nothing else he is used to bring more glory to God than he could in any other way.  As the story of David continues to unfold Saul gradually grows more and more jealous of him, until he gets to the point of trying to kill David.  Saul chases David all over the land in his fear that the Lord will strip him of his power in favor of David.  Saul is completely concerned with what he has gained, what he has and cares not for the plans of David.  Saul knows that David has been chosen by God as the next king and this infuriates him, obviously betraying whose glory he is seeking.  David, on the other hand, remains humble through it all, and does nothing to seize control of the kingdom earlier than the Lord deems it.  David has two opportunities to kill Saul in chapters 24 and 26, with the swipe of a sword he could have seized control of the kingdom, and all the wealth and power that would come with it.  However, he respected Saul’s life and the fact that God had ordained him king and he would not violate that ordination.  This is an amazing testimony about David’s character.  His biggest enemy in the world falls into his hands twice and he avoids the temptation of killing him for he wants to do right in God’s eyes.  At this point in his life David still has nothing going for him in an Earthly sense.  He has been forced out of his homeland by an angry king and pursued through the wilderness with no home or real power besides over the men who are faithfully following him.  Even after Saul dies, David does not immediately seize control of the Kingdom, but gradually and prayerfully takes power.  His heart in this is revealed as he dances, praising the Lord uncontrollably as the ark is brought to Jerusalem.  David says, “I will celebrate before the Lord.  I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.”2 Samuel 6:21-22.  David is seeking to be made lower in his own eyes not to exalt himself.  It is rather the Lord that keeps exalting him, saying, “The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you.”  2 Samuel 7:11  And why does the Lord choose to do this?  As 2 Samuel 7:23 says, it is all, “to make a name for Himself.”  God is being glorified as is right through the raising up and exaltation of David, yet David is staying humble, and his heart’s desire remains the Lord, and any other benefit that might be entering his life.  As Psalm 27:4 reads, “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”  Even as David is gaining his own temple and his own power and riches his heart remains hungry for the House of the Lord.  David’s Earthly temple is not his home, it is not his security.  He, like followers of Jesus are instructed to be, is living as a stranger on Earth, in reverent fear of the Lord 1 Peter 1:17.  In fact, he is so free of confinement from Earthly goods that 2 Samuel 8:11 reads, “King David dedicated these articles to the Lord, as he had done with the silver and gold from all the nations he had subdued.”  All this time David has been faithful.  He has remembered what is right and just in the Lord’s eyes, and he has sought the Lord in all, but we all know David’s one great stain, and I do not believe it is a coincidence that it comes only after he has all the riches in the world.  One night David spots a beautiful woman, and not a stranger either, it is, “Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 2 Samuel 11:3  David knows exactly who this woman is, he knows he has no claim to her, and yet no sooner after he blows any ability to plead ignorant does he send messengers to get her and sleeps with her.  For the first time in David’s story do we see him take something only because he wants it.  Formerly, every acquisition and every action has been made in God’s will and to bring God glory.  He is wealthy and powerful before this, but in no way do we see him seek for these things.  He is simply seeking to bring God glory.  False humility and the rejection of wealth on David’s part would never have done God any good.  God wanted David as king, he had anointed him as such, and David’s refusal to be put in control of riches would have in this case been ungodly.  However, it was completely for David’s immediate pleasure that he took Bathsheba.  He thought not of longterm rewards or consequences, he thought not of right and wrong, only of this moment’s want, and in that, God’s righteous servant strayed for the first recorded time.  The consequences of this sin are not surprisingly more sin.  David suddenly finds himself in a spiral of ungodly actions as Bathsheba gets pregnant and David sends her husband Uriah to his death in battle in order to protect his name.  For the first time David has lost sight of God’s reputation and of David’s reputation in God’s eyes, and has acted to preserve his reputation in man’s eyes. This too is his sin.  With his lack of focus on long-term and eternal rewards David finds himself out of favor with God, and the Lord takes his new baby from him.  However God’s promise remains true to David that he will make him a great nation, and Bathsheba once again gives birth to a baby boy, one named Solomon.  Then for the rest of his days David lives with the Lord as his rock, his fortress and his deliverer.  Never again do we see David striving for anything but intimacy with the Lord.

It is clear that for the most part David is never held captive by a desire for anything but his Lord.  This is why he is a man after God’s own heart.  This is why God chose him as the leader of his people.  God chose to make much of David, to provide much for David, because through David’s reign God was once again remembered as the Rock and Refuge of his people.  However, we as Christians must imitate David’s heart without assuming that God will give us kingdoms and riches and palaces.  God’s promise to David was that he would be the one who would, “build a house for my [God’s] Name, and I [God] will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.”  This was David’s promise, and in Jesus Christ this promise was fulfilled.  From Jesus on there are no more kings.  He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords and he will reign, as God promised David, forever.  Remember that Jesus was an Earthly descendant of David.  In fact, Matthew traces his ancestry back to the adulterous wife of David, Bathsheba.  God is faithful to his promises, but now that we are servants of the new King and Lord Jesus, he offers us this promise, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.  If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own.  As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.  That is why the world hates you.  Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also, If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.  They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.” John 15:18-21  Just as David’s only purpose was to be the vehicle for God to make a house for His name, so our purpose is to, “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”  This too comes with a great promise though, and praise God for it, Jesus says, “And surely I will be with you always to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20   The reality is that we find ourselves at a different point in God’s redemptive plan of the world than David did.  The New Testament writers continuously convey a great sense of urgency.  Whether there are months, years, or thousands of years left in the history of Earth we are in the end times.  Jesus is ushering in the new Kingdom and without worry about food, clothing etc. we are to seek that Kingdom and God’s righteousness.  David too sought God’s Kingdom and His righteousness without worrying about food.  In that way we are to have the same heart that David had, the same longings David had, that is why the Psalms still speak wonderful truth to hearts hungry for God.  However, Jesus promises that as we seek the Kingdom now it will look awfully different than it did when David sought it.

We still have yet to deal with Solomon, and so I would like to turn to Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, two books at least partially written by Solomon.  We have shown how our hearts should be the same of that as David, even if our lives do not look as glamorous due to the point in history we find ourselves.  However, there is another truth that was just as true then as it is today, and it is a truth that Solomon understood well:  riches and Earthly things will never satisfy.  Only God brings true satisfaction.  Proverbs 15:16-17 reads, “Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.  Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.”  If only our American society would have learned from Solomon’s great wisdom.  What a great testimony to the fact that wealth does not bring happiness our country is.  As we seek and strive in our dog eat dog, must be better than the Jones’ world, depression, stress, health problems, broken families and general lack of satisfaction with life continue to grow.  I have experienced this in my own life.  When I was born my parents lived in a trailer house, than when I was five we moved into a slightly bigger, but yet small home, then in seventh grade we moved into a large home with a bedroom for every person in the family, got satellite TV and internet in the home for the first time.  As we strove to have more my family slowly drifted apart.  My brothers and I grew less and less close, and my respect and affection for my parents shrunk drastically.  I did not recognize it at the time, but the simple life we had in our smaller house, and with fewer distracting activities was filled with so much more joy than anything I experienced as we ran around like crazy people, or wasted our lives in front of the TV during my high school years.  When reading the Proverbs, Solomon clearly understands that Earthly gain will not satisfy.  However, he does continuously advocate hard work, and many people might challenge me with a verse such as Proverbs 12:11 which reads, “He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment.”  I don’t know how many times I have been told that my walk of discipleship is nothing but a silly fantasy and that I need to settle down, work, and provide food etc. for my family.  This seems to be the exact advise and wisdom of Solomon here.  However, I would respond by reminding about the great number of parables that Jesus tells about farming, and working.  In Luke 10:2 Jesus says to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”  Just as Solomon says, we are to be workers in the land, Jesus wants that too.  However, he turns the idea of work on its head.  Jesus’ commands are certainly not some hippy call to simple living.  His call is to get to work bringing the kingdom, a job that is so full-time that one cannot be wasting their energies worrying even about their next meal (Matthew 6), much less whether or not they can purchase the latest gadgets and gizmos.  Remember what happens when Jesus calls James, John and Simon in Luke 5.  They were hard-working men who spent their time catching fish.  Jesus comes along and lets them know that they will continue to be hard-working men, fishermen even, but that they will be catching their fellow men rather than fish.  If discipleship is a fantasy than it is Jesus’ fantasy, and one worthy of chasing.  Working Jesus’ land is not work that negates Solomon’s promise of abundant food coming to a worker.  Jesus calls himself the Bread of Life and instructs all, “Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.” John 6:27  This statement carries both a command and a promise.  The command, stop working just to survive on Earth, and the promise, you will be fed from the bounty of my glory for eternity.

Now lets wrap up by returning to Solomon and Ecclesiastes where Solomon has discovered that, “Everything is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes 1:2  Solomon goes on to write in chapter 2 verses 10-11, “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure.  My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor.  Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”  No matter how hard he worked, no matter what he gained, everything ended up being meaningless.  Solomon knew that nothing had gained would mean anything after he died.  At that point he would be reduced to the same level as any other dead man.  Again he writes, “Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealthy is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.   As goods increase, so do those who consume them.  And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them?  The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep.  I have seen a grievous evil under the sun: wealth hoarded to the harm of its owner, [remember what I said about my family, a family many would not consider wealthy.  However, when you consider that much of the world lives, and at times dies on, less than $2 a day, my family is surely guilty of hoarding money, and it has been to our own harm] or wealth lost through some misfortune, so that when he has a son there is nothing left for him.  Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and as he comes, so he departs.  He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand.” Proverbs 5:10-15  Now we could continue through Ecclesiastes at a similar pace, and gain no more ground, but at this point is important to make a clarifying statement before wrapping up this novel.  It has been a common “Christian” notion that if Solomon found it meaningless when he denied himself nothing his eyes desired than the correct way to find meaning is simply to deny yourself everything you desire.  This logic however, will miss joy and satisfaction by as great a girth as the untamed desires of a playboy.  The restless, purposeless vagabond will die as unhappily and with as little real satisfaction as Hugh Hefner.  His eternal life will be just as miserable as well.  God does not want us to be joyless, to not have what our hearts desire.  It is this fact that David has understood better than most men who have ever lived.  God does not want a forlorn, self-denying kingdom, he wants a kingdom full of individuals getting everything they want in Him and Him alone.  God wants a heart change.  Ever since Adam and Eve had the brilliant idea that God was holding out on them, desired the forbidden fruit instead of God and the bounty he had already provided for them we have been killing ourselves with misplaced desire.  David writes in Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  What this basically is saying is that if you delight in the Lord, your heart will want to delight in Him more, that will become your desire, and God will fulfill that desire by revealing Himself to you more and more.  David was the man who panted for the Lord like a deer pants for water Psalm 42.  He was one who in Jesus’ words in Matthew 5 hungered and thirsted for righteousness, and because he was this kind of man he was also a man who the Lord dealt with differently, more intimately than he did other men 2 Samuel 7:19.  This is the same promise James offers us today, “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.”  All men and women of God from the beginning of time until now have had the desires of their heart restored to a hungering for God.  This is what has always separated the righteous from the unrighteous.  When Jesus begins teaching on himself as the Bread of Heaven, the only satisfaction for humankind the crowd listening dwindles from hundreds and thousands to his few faithful disciples.  The rest were looking for a free meal, that was their desire, the disciples actually wanted Jesus regardless of the cost.  The question we must ask ourselves than is where are our hearts, what do we desire, what are we working for.  If there is anything that occupies, even just the smallest part of our affections other than Christ we must remove it.  I would challenge us all to reflect upon our own thoughts.  What do they betray about our hearts?  Is God ever-present in our thoughts.  If our life is directed for his Kingdom He should be.  The more likely reality is that we are people like those David speaks of in Psalm 10 who have no room for God in their thoughts.  If this is the case, we cannot be alright with it.  Those who have no room for God in their thoughts are called wicked, and if you want to know what happens to the wicked, what David and Solomon think about the wicked than read Psalms and Proverbs.  If you want to see what Jesus thinks about the wicked read Matthew.  The way of the wicked might be popular but it ends in destruction.  This is not meant to be scare tactics.  The simple reality is that if we want joy on Earth now and in the age to come, it will only be found in God.  If we are alright with misery here and misery later than we can go ahead and cling to our Earthly treasures as if they were not in Solomon’s words, “meaningless.”

Let me end now with the words of Solomon and Peter, two men whose life paths looked much different, but whose hearts were both hungry for their God.  Solomon says at the end of Ecclesiastes, “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the WHOLE duty of man.  For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.”  Now I want to use Peter to bring some balance to Solomon and to this whole exploration.  It is quite easy at this point to start working, working, working for the Kingdom.  One might think if they can forgive like Jesus, love like Jesus, and look like Jesus than everything will be alright.  This is a noble desire, and a mistake that I have made, one that I think makes God smile.  However, it would be like a little child watching his father chop down a tree with a few powerful swings of an axe, and then thinking that he too can match the feat.  The child would surely realize before he even had a chance to swing the axe, that there was a different between he and his father.  We must seek to do God’s work, to bring Kingdom-bringers, but as we imitate Jesus in our lives, we must just as passionately seek the power of his spirit to change our character.  We, like the child, have some growing up to do before we will swing the axe with the ease of our father.  This does not mean that we should not repeatedly make our best effort at swinging it, but it does mean as Peter writes, that we must, “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you [we] may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:2-3  We surely have new work to do that looks like swinging an axe.  We are to be fishers of men, and we are to be workers in the field of humanity.  However, there is behind the scenes work that must be done that is of equal importance.  Just as the son will surely work as hard as he can to grow big and strong like his father, so we too must, “make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.”  We must make every effort to improve our character because, “if you [we] possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.” 2 Peter 1:5-9  I love the last sentence of this quote, because I think it hits the heart of this matter I am trying to address.  Let us return to our boy working to our boy trying as hard as he can to get big and strong.  All of his attention is on that tree, and that day that he will be able to cut down that tree.  If he is a modern boy he would spend hours in the gym, he would eat all kinds of protein, and drink protein shakes.  His effort would be great, and bit by bit he would grow and get better and better at chopping that tree until some day he would finally chop it down.  Once accomplished he would surely have some small amount of joy, but after accomplishing his goal he would be audience to the deterioration of all he had worked so hard to build up.  Bit by bit, no matter how great an effort he continues to exert, the former boy will become an old man and will lose that which he strove so hard for and wasted so many hours and years working to gain.  This boy was near-sighted.  All he could see was the goal of that tree, he didn’t realize that what he was building up would someday deteriorate, that he was working for perishable, temporary gain.  This is the message of the entire Bible when it comes to riches, and earthly goods, whether it comes through David and Solomon or Paul and Peter:  Don’t waste your time making effort for things that you will some day lose, but rather make your effort drawing near to God, building up your character and seeking the Kingdom, for you, “ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.” 2 Peter 3:11-12

Props to Ruth

Learn to worry less and trust God more. That is really what the Spirit has been teaching me throughout these past weeks as the illusion of control of my life has been stripped from me. As we went into the backcountry, we were put in a place where we remembered that we are not gods. We were completely at the mercy of wildlife, weather and the wilderness surrounding us. We had no control and being miles from the "safety" of our car, could either worry or trust. And realizing that my security was being placed in a car, I saw the silliness of my mind! How can I trust the car and not trust my God who I thought I believed was larger than life, who created everything, who is in control? In this realization, I pray that even as I return to the car and "civilization" that my security cannot be placed in anything save God and remember that I am not a god and have no control over life.

However, this lack of control also comes with it a complete cluelessness for my future. When I had plans or a routine, I at least had something to rest upon. I "knew" I would get up, eat breakfast, go to work and things would be "normal." It has become so important to me though, to know that I don't know what will happen! Because then instead of relying on myself and my plan, I have to trust God is in control and will guide me. I have never been so dependent on the Spirit yet recognize how inexperienced I am at it. What a blessing to be learning this great gift of relying on his Spirit for my every moment of every day. It at first freaked me out and specifically made one of my days a worried mess, yet the Spirit is growing on me--or should I say I'm growing in the Spirit--as I learn to walk with Him. I expect nothing (in the sence that anything could happen) and yet expect everything (in that he is powerful--moving in and through me--and placing me where he can most use me)! The passage from James 4:13-17 has never meant more to me:
"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
The Lord only has such control from moment to moment. My tongue and my mind need to remember that!

This morning I read from Ruth and thought she an amazing, self-giving woman with a lot of faith and trust. A widow, accompanying her widowed mother-in-law back to a foreign land not knowing how they would survive. Yet she is determined to stick it out with her mother-in-law through all the uncertainties until death even with the option of returning home to find another husband and begin a new life. Surely a promise of a hard, laborous life. No illusion of control or safety. Praise the Lord for blessing this woman so abundantly, for not only was she fed and married to a noble man, but bore a son Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David--in the geneology of Jesus our Christ. Props to Ruth for her faith...and how cool that she did it not even knowing what would come of her life!
Spirit, teach us that faith and build in us that trust.
Your sister in Christ,
GAbrieLLE

The journey of a month-week

It’s been a little over a week since we left my grandparent’s house in Wolf Point, and it seems like it’s been at least a month.  That is not to say that it has been a bad week, but it has been perhaps the strangest week of my life.  God has been working overtime, and teaching both Brie and I incredibly important lessons about trust, humility and living in his will.  From my grandparents we went straight to a place called Swift Dam in the Bob Marshall Wilderness, just south of Glacier National Park.  We were expecting to spend five nights in the backcountry here praying and being still.  However, the trip was shortened by cold and wet days that kept us moving on our way around the 40 mile loop.  The trip consisted of many joys and many battles with the demon of worry.  Suddenly finding ourselves without a home, without a shower, without a diverse selection of food, we realized exactly what it was we had signed up for, and it was a struggle.  Through it all though we were humbled greatly, and drawn into a place of trusting that the Lord would see us through.  Going back to Matthew 6 we were reminded over and over not to worry as we sought the kingdom of God and his righteousness.  The Lord promises that if we seek his Kingdom all the other things will be added unto us.  He does not promise that we will have as much as we want, or even as much as we need, but enough to bring Him glory.  That after all, was all we really wanted to do, so gradually peace was restored to our hearts as we took in the wonder of his creation, from black bears to blowing snow on a steep mountain pass.

After coming out from the wilderness, the weather cleared up and we found at the trailhead a free campground which we decided to stay at least one night at to dry our stuff, and warm our bodies.  One night gradually turned into four nights, and we continued to be encouraged and provided for by our God.  We realized gradually that our tent was more than enough of a home and a shelter, we learned how to bathe and wash our clothes in the ice-cold mountain stream (an experience that left us feeling very rustic) and we began to enjoy our simple, and sometimes small diet just in time for God to provide a bounty of food generously provided for us by our neighboring campers.  We were provided with extra potato salad, cottage cheese, and dessert that one couple had leftover from a family gathering.  We were given a large fish one night from an older man who had caught more than he wanted.  We were invited another night to join a different family for their grill-out.  Again and again we were more than generously provided for, and more than blessed with conversation and time in community.  Perhaps the coolest thing that happened during this time came the last evening when a 49 year-old businessman from Toronto, Canada pulled up and kind of invited himself into our site.  We were more than glad to accommodate him, and as the night wore on it was obvious that God desired for us to be a light and a blessing to this man.  One of the first things that he noticed about us was how content we seemed to be as we sat and read our Bibles all afternoon.  He seemed boggled by this and admitted to being a rather discontent person himself.  As the evening wore on we shared more with him and learned more about his past through several hours of conversation.  The next morning as we saw him off onto the trail, he admitted to having spent much time pondering our love, our joy, and our vision of the world.  Our prayer is that God worked evermore on his heart as he wandered that trail.

The basic point of telling you all of this is to illustrate how fully God provided for everything.  Besides the basic needs for life, he blessed us above and beyond anything we should have expected.  We were wanting community and he provided it.  I especially was struggling with feeling unused, and that feeling was driving me nuts.  Low and behold God provided an opportunity to be used by him in the life of that man and all the people at the campground.  How good he is, and how well he knows our hearts.  Tuesday morning we left Swift Dam and headed through Glacier National Park on our way to Missoula.  Glacier was as beautiful as anything I have ever seen, but both of our hearts were directed toward Missoula.  It was Missoula that had presented itself as a huge question mark on our trip.  A few months ago, long after we had decided that we were to leave Fargo and embark on this adventure Missoula randomly began to weigh upon my heart.  There was no real reason behind this, no clear call that I could discern, but yet enough of a pull to warrant a good amount of prayer and intentional discernment around the area.  As soon as we hit Missoula though, I had a meltdown.  The wilderness area I had hopped to camp did not allow camping like I thought it would, and we drove around for a couple of hours searching for a place to stay.  Oh how quickly I forgot how faithful and steadfast God had been.  How quickly I betrayed my trust in myself, when my plans fell through.  I claimed to be willing to do and go wherever God put us here, but when it wasn’t the place I expected I became frustrated and mad with Him.  He placed us at a campground where we were the youngest people by at least fifty years.  It was a square-dancing campground, a gathering place for all those who go to Arizona in the winter to spend their summers dancing and sharing in potlucks with community.  The people were friendly, we had our first shower in a week, and there were even laundry facilities to clean our clothes.  However, nothing seemed extra-extraordinary to explain our presence at this particular campground.

Yesterday morning though we headed to Missoula, and I decided that we needed to visit this church I had seen on-line.  South Hills Evangelical Church is its name, and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to walk in there and talk with a pastor to get a feel of what they were doing, and what was happening in Missoula. Brie expressed her concern initially about just barging into the church, and we both felt rather uncomfortable.  After a few minutes of prayer in the parking lot though, we headed into the church, awkwardly asked if there was a pastor available, and just like that we were explaining our situation and introducing ourselves to Pastor John.  At first he seemed rather baffled as to what we wanted from him, but as the conversation stretched on things rapidly became less and less awkward.  It then randomly came up that we were staying at the square-dancing campground, which happened to be a half-mile down the road from this man’s house, even though it is ten miles outside of Missoula.  This coincidence (I think not) induced him to suggest we just pick up our stuff and move into his basement with his wife and seven kids.  Thus, last night, after worshipping with the church’s youth group we stopped by their home, met his wife, and his seven children and further shared our stories with them.  Now, this morning we moved our things into their basement, where we will be staying until further notice.  We spent yesterday praying around the University of Montana, a campus of 14,000 with less than 1,000 involved in a Christian ministry, and around Missoula, a town with less than 10% of its people associated with a church, a number that the pastors say may be generous.  We do not know for sure yet if the Lord is putting the brakes on our excursion, we are not committing to Missoula, but it seems to be a possibility that this could be our new home.  I have not idea what God wants to do with us here, where we would live, or anything.  Like I said, I do not even know if we will stay here.  However, as I was telling Brie yesterday, I have a tendency in my desire to know that I know that I know that I know God’s will to begin thinking too much and start doubting the will of God that I already simply know.  Regardless, prayers for wisdom and discernment would be more than appreciated.

No matter what happens though I am convinced that God is working for our good and for the good of his kingdom.  If I learned anything over the last month-week it is that I, and we as humans, are not God.  The plans, and things, and ideas we hold up as our security are nothing but mirages and illusions.  God is in control.  His will will be had in our life.  He is sovereign, and any attempt of mine to make plans of my own, or even to fill in the blanks he has left, will only get in the work of his great plans.  So sparing you a sermon, I will simply ask for you to remember us as we sit here in Missoula, and ponder what crazy things the King of Kings has up his sleeve for us right now.  We continue to remember you all in our prayers.  Much love to you all.

Andrew